Kuroshitsuji Meets Korean Pop
by xXHanamizukiXx
Summary: Like Shinee? Enjoy Big Bang and SNSD? Now combine a few Korean classics with Kuroshitsuji characters. The result? ABSOLUTE ANARCHY.  Dedicated to my lovely friend SparksFlyUp1223, otherwise known as SQUISHY :3
1. Destruction of the Manor

So what would happen, if someone decided to combine K-pop (Korean Pop) with Kuroshitsuji?

The result would be this.

"I'm so sorry but I love you nar-ka-ro-un mar ~Hwas-gim-e na-do mo-reu-ge neor tteo-na-bo-naess-ji-man I'm so sorry but I love you da geo-jis-mar..." Grell wailed as he danced with a life-size cutout of G-Dragon from Big Bang.

Ciel raised an eyebrow.

"Lies? I like Haru Haru better." Sebastian coughed in amusement.

"Master, I thought you liked Lies just because the girl in the music video bashed someone in the head with a pineapple."

Undertaker streaked by in the hallway wearing purple boxers with pineapples printed on them.

The atmosphere of the room deflated considerably.

"Sebastian, please explain to me WHY that man is STILL on our property?"

"Grell invited him, my lord."

"And why is Grell the Gaylord on OUR property?"

"..."

"HEY! I'm not gay, because I'm a _woman_."

"Sebastian, I order you to remove them from the vicinity."

Grell pouted. "That's not very nice, my little Earl." Ciel glared at him.

"You're hogging my music! Get off my laptop NOW." Grell slinked off and sought comfort in a very cushy, Marie-Antoinette recliner, which allowed him to pose for Sebastian. The butler ignored him and watched as his master typed in a new song to listen to.

"Shinee..." Ciel pressed his hands against his ears after Grell shrieked.

"SHINEE! OMG I LOVE JONGHYUN CAUSE HE 'S SOOO AWESOME I OMFG ORGASM EVERYTIME I HEAR-" Sebastian stuffed a pillow into the red reaper's face and grinned as the beautiful boy band launched into the chorus of "Ring Ding Dong".

"Baby, Negae banhae beorin naegae wae irae. Dureopdago mulleoseoji malgo. Geunyang naegae matgyeobwala eoddae. My lady~" After extricating himself from the suffocating confines of the conveniently placed pillow, Grell got up and began dancing to the song, his limbs flailing.

"Gods, what is this noise?" William stuck his head into the room-and dropped his jaw.

Grell seemed as though he was making out with himself on top of the table as Key from Shinee appeared on the screen.

Ciel was staring at him in horrid fascination.

Sebastian looked highly amused.

Undertaker streaked by again, this time in a shocking pink tutu. (For those familiar with my work, I seem to have developed a preference for fuchsia. Wait...is that pink? Or purple?)

William facepalmed.

Glancing at the laptop's screen, Sebastian's red eyes began to glow as Grell switched into his three-inch high heeled boots and began poledancing to "Electric Heart", pulling Undertaker and William onto the table. After making sure his master wasn't too traumatized, his gloved fingers entered three new keywords into YouTube's search bar.

"Girls' Generation Gee."

The spilt second pause of no music halted the enthusiastic pole dancers. (Well, only enthusiastic in Grell's case) Smirking, Sebastian clicked the first link. A blast of cheery music destroyed the speakers.

"Neomu neomu meotjyeo nooni nooni busyeo. Sumeul moht shigesseo tteollineun geol!

Gee gee gee gee baby baby baby  
Gee gee gee gee baby baby baby

O neomu bukkeureoweo chyeodabol su eobseo  
Saranghae ppajyeosseo sujubeun geol."

The result was chaos. Grell automatically began singing along to the song-he was a HUGE fan of SNSD and had briefly entered an SNSD fashion phase based on Jessica's clothing. William fell off the coffee table where Grell had dragged him and began choking, since he was apparently allergic to girlyness.

Ciel burst out laughing like Fiona in the bad ending of Haunting Ground and wouldn't quit.

Sebastian raised his eyebrows, fully enjoying the fact that Undertaker had discarded both his tutu AND pineapple boxers.

Suddenly everyone paused.

"Do you hear that...ticking?" Grell's eyes widened as he pulled out a metallic object from the table.

"I FOUND THE SOURCE OF THE TICKING! IT'S A-"

"DILDOOOOO!" Undertaker screamed.

The room's atmosphere decreased considerably for the second time.

"It's a pipe bomb." Sebastian declared flatly.

"Indeed." William stared at it.

At that exact moment, the pipe bomb went off.

_**BOOOOOOOOOM.  
**_

After the clouds of dust drifted away, Claude and Alois were perched on top of the rubble that used to be the Phantomhive Mansion.

"See, Claude? I TOLD Ciel that Macs were wayyy better." Alois patted his white laptop. "And now, some music."

"Nŏttaeme jakkuman nae gasŭmi  
nŏttaeme jakkuman nae momi  
niga nal bol ttae mada ni saenggak hal ttae mada  
nŏttaeme jakkuman nae gasŭmi

No oh no oh no oh oh  
I can't breathe  
No oh no oh no oh oh"

Alois began dancing as Claude stiffly did the Macarena behind him.

In the rubble, a weak, red-gloved hand protruded from a decimated stone block. It wearily made a thumbs-up, indicating it approved of Alois's music choice, then sank back down on the ground like some bizarre exotic bug.

And thus, K-pop was never played in the vicinity of pipe bombs and Soul Reapers ever again, for fear that Grell's enthusiasm would destroy the world, and make both Kuroshitsuji fangirls and K-pop fangirls fly off the face of the earth.


	2. William, Grell, and their Shineeness

Our world is very flimsy. It can be easily destroyed by combining K-pop and Kuroshitsuji.

The Shinigami Dimension was equally durable.

As usual, our beloved Omg-I-love-Sebastian-like-a-gaylord-cause-I'm-a-crimson-imitation-of-Ru-Paul soul reaper was slacking off on work. He was busily scanning the numerous pictures of famous K-pop stars while listening to VNT's Sound (Ye Ye Ye), dancing in his abused swivel chair.

"Oh yeah yeah, oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah..." Grell swayed while making hand movements and attracting many weird glances from his co-workers. Only Ronald nodded in understanding, then turned back to his work after plugging into "Sunset Glow" by Big Bang.

Out of nowhere a silver pole bashed the crimson reaper's hollow head. (Ooh, I made a subconscious reference to Bleach!)

"Grell Sutcliffe, what on earth do you think you're doing...oh." William swallowed as he stared at Key's hair.

Or rather, the lack of it. The left side of his head was perfectly fine...but the right side...

Was extremely shiny.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID THEY DO TO **MY** KEY?" William screamed.

Grell dropped his jaw and his box of strawberry Pepero*.

"YOUR KEY? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN?" Grell demanded. William turned to him, his eyes gleaming.

"He's mine, BITCH. And is that my Pepero you're eating?" Grell glowered at him.

"Yours is the chocolate one, dumbass. AND the LAST time we had this discussion, we agreed to split him in half! YOU wanted Minho and Taemin."

"Oh yeah? YOU STOLE JONGHYUN FROM ME." Behind them, Ronald gasped, clutching a Jong-jong chibi to his chest. The only time William acted out of character like this was when Shinee came into the situation. This was not going to be pretty.

Grell grinned. "He's my bling bling."

"More like your god."

"True that. But you have to admit that I own half of Key."

"Bitch, HELL NO."

"Hello?"

"I SAID HELL NO! Oh wait..I LOVE THAT SONG!" Ronald facepalmed as the two began to gush enthusiastically.

Undertaker crawled out from under Grell's desk and began to eat Grell's forgotten box of strawberry Pepero.

"HOLY SHIT ON A GUACAMOLE!" Grell screamed and jumped on William, who was in the middle of ranting about how he hated Key's hairstylist and how he should condemn him to death.

Undertaker munched on the yogurt-covered sticks contently. Cautious, Ronald poked him with William's death scythe, earning himself a growl.

"Put on some MUZIK, noob." Ronald gulped, pushed up his glasses, and obeyed the elder, albeit slightly senile soul reaper.

After a few seconds, 4minute's Muzik echoed through the room.

"Undertaker, may I ask you a question?" Ronald peered down at the silver, _naked _blob eating Korean Pocky below him.

"What?"

"What were you doing under Grell-sempai's desk?"

"I was stealing William's Pepero. And I found out that Grell had stolen his Key picture collection."

William stared at Grell.

Grell stared at Undertaker.

Undertaker stared into the dark depths of his now-empty Pepero box.

Outside, soul reapers flinched as they heard William T. Spears's voice shriek through the Administrative Hall.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DID YOU DO WITH MY KEY PICTURES?"

Grell shrank in his swivel chair like a naughty human version of Clifford.

"Well, I sang to them, praised them, slept with them, kissed them, and mastu-" The silver pole of William's death scythe smashed down on Grell's head for god knows how many times.

Heaving, William grabbed Grell's laptop and announced;

"I'm banning you from K-pop for a MONTH, Sutcliffe." He stalked off, not noticing that the empty Pepero box had been discreetly scotch-taped to his left buttock with the words; "EAT ME."

Ronald sighed.

"Oh you devastating gods of K-pop, you have done it again."

* Pepero is a Korean version of Pocky, which is like, yogurt on sticks. Trust me, it's wayyy better than it sounds.


End file.
